How many times have you asked yourself that question?

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Not all stress is external. Sometimes, it's our own beliefs and thought patterns that pile on the pressure. Learning to tell the difference can be a game-changer for your mental health and wellbeing.

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For me, perfectionism was a big internal driver. I used to procrastinate, not because I didn’t care, but because I was scared I wouldn’t do it “right” or give it 100%. The result? More stress. What helped was learning to embrace good enough. It’s not always easy, but choosing progress over perfection made a huge difference.

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When you're feeling overwhelmed, try to pause and reflect: Is this something I can control? Is this pressure coming from outside — or from me?

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Here are some common external pressures:

• Unrealistic deadlines
  
  
• Being asked to do more than your capacity
  
  
• A culture where saying “no” feels unsafe
  
  
• Lack of support or poor management
  
  
• Bullying, harassment, or discrimination
  
  

And internal pressures:

• Imposter syndrome, for example: "I'm not qualified enough for this job, everyone else knows far more than me."
  
  
• People-pleasing and poor boundaries, for example: agreeing to take on more work when you don't have capacity
  
  
• Perfectionism, for example: setting unrealistic standards for yourself
  
  
• Constant comparison to others
  
  
• Negative self-talk, for example: "I should have spotted that mistake sooner, I'm always making mistakes."
  
  
• Trying to control the uncontrollable
  
  
• All-or-nothing thinking, for example: "That presentation was a disaster, I'm useless at this job."

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Understanding the source of your stress gives you the power to respond differently. You may not be able to change everything, but you can change how you relate to it.

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If you recognise any of these internal pressures, therapy can help you understand and overcome limiting thinking patterns. Reach out to book a session or learn more about how we can work together — I work in-person in North London or online.